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Biography

Pretoria, oh Pretoria

I stayed in a rented compartment in Pretoria during my temporally employment at the Department and also for some months thereafter while working at the association for the deaf.

Like the previous years I also encountered problems after problems reflecting my personal life. I don’t really want to elaborate on some specific problems but to mention a few.

I once worked for 9 months in Johannesburg as driver and bodyguard for a group of strippers. 10am till 5am day in and day out. During this time it happens many times that I walked unarmed at night in high-risk places such as Yeoville, Hillbrow etc without much trouble or problems.

In Pretoria, my first months salary was stole out of my pocket in clear daylight. Was twice attached at night during attempted robbery and my car windows was also smashed in clear daylight and stolen a few months later. Once a gang tried to force me out of the train late at night at the Moorcroft station (at a township) but I only loose my leather jacket. When I much later that night walked home in the cold a small dog bite my from behind. (The first time ever that a dog do that)

Oh well, that’s general problems but there are also the emotional problems. Emotional problems to be strong, positive and helpful at all times while things fallen apart, while there is nobody to support and encourage, to fill that energy tapped from day to day.

There are also the emotional problems if one falls in love with your soul mate, a person what could fit every aspect of your life like if God created each person specific for the other. Emotional strain created by something that seems to be a double personality, a woman with the years and experience of an adult, but the soul and heart of a child, a fairy locked in the cage of sorrow.

Once, looked down on dear old Pretoria, I wrote this,

A question, so powerful and real,
“How can you, blue eyes, close and fail?”
Impossible, should I say, because of you.
You are the ground beneath my life,
the rock what keeps me, secure and firm.
But the truth will bring tears of pain,
and I could fall like a mountain in the sea.
That day when you loose your faith in me,
the ground collapse and my feet will go astray.
A corpse that is burried,
with still my love for you inside.

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